Yet another great day with my love. Best one yet. We wonder at what point we're going to plateau, then just be parked on cloud nine for the rest of our time together.
I feel such a strong desire to catalog our experiences. I know I can't write down everything, but I want to get down as much as I possibly can. This is such an important and beautiful thing in my life, I want a record of it.
My day started melancholy, dealing with stressful things, not enough sleep, the first night in a while apart from him, a little bit of hormonal blahs, etc. We had plans to take the boys to their favorite beach in town and spend the day there. The weather was being wishy washy, but was supposed to clear up a bit later, and we all wanted to go anyway. By midday, I was ready to go, and everything was great as soon as Tory picked us up. We were at the beach until the sun set at 8:00, and had a wonderfully mellow day.
The tide was far, far out on the shallow beach, so we walked the mud flats and the boys played in the inch of water and silt for a few hours, discovering weathered wood, rusty metal, remnants of creatures, and the quiet joy of just being in nature. Tory gave me a ring of bark he found on the flats, yet another little ceremonial celebration of our love. We are committed to each other, already. Ordinarily, I would have lots of doubts, but there's nothing ordinary about this.
After playing in the water, the boys started climbing up the clay slopes, almost cliff-like, where they played for hours. Tory and I processed nettles from our harvest on Sunday, and played ukulele to each other (I got a private live Cartoon Monster
concert, which is a rare and beautiful treat), then we had a nice little fire for a few hours. It was all so sweet. There will be photos soon.
At one point, Alder came over to us from his cliff escapades with a few scratches, and in strange spirits. I asked him how he was doing, and he said that he was alright, though he felt kind of stupid. I asked why, and he proceeded to tell us that he fell off the cliff pretty good. He had gotten to a high ledge, and noticed that other people had carved their names in the clay, so he wanted to as well. He realised that he needed to carve slowly, or the silt blew in his eyes, but when he got to the last letter, he wrote it with a flourish that came out a bit too fast, and the dust hit his eyes. He startled a bit, then tipped backward and went ass over teakettle off the edge. He somersaulted down a couple of times, then slid for a while, coming to an abrupt end on his rump. Fortunately, he was relatively unscathed, and damn if he didn't handle the whole thing so well. My boy is growing up, for sure.
At the very end, there was a spectacular sunset, which we all enjoyed.
The timing was perfect, because right as the sun was setting, the kids' dad got home. He just lives a few blocks away from the beach so we had decided earlier in the day to have the boys sleep at his house that night, and I went home with Tory.
I was pretty tired by the time we got home. Tory fried up some leftover potatoes from our meal on Sunday and served them to me, which was very sweet. Then we got in bed and had some very intimate soul sex. Being able to fully indulge in each other's bodies is a recent development. Last night was only the second time. It was incredible.
At one point, he was going down on me, doing miraculous things with his mouth for a while, then he went to put his fingers inside of me as well, and I blurted out, "oh no," in anticipation of the overwhelming burst of pleasure that was to come. I have NEVER said that during sex before, and it was hilarious in that moment. We laughed and laughed, then played some more.
For the first time, I was the first one to fall asleep, and I slept fairly well by my love's side. We both still smell of campfire and each other. Mmm. I don't even want to shower.
I was talking to the boys about Tory today. They love him a lot too. I think part of it is that they are so connected with me, and they know how good he is for me. It is undeniable. I asked if I should keep him, and they said yes, definitely. I think I will.
On Monday morning, I was getting ready for a doctor's appointment, and was brushing out my hair, still a bit stiff from the salt of the sea. I got near River, and he said, "Mama, you smell SO GOOD right now. You smell like plants. Alder, come smell mama! She smells so good!" He's never commented on my smell before, so this was novel and adorable. I said that I didn't know why I would smell like plants, and that I thought I smelled like the ocean, and also like Tory. River said, "Tory smells like the ocean, and you smell like the rain forest." Alder added, "So, an oceanic rain forest!"
I think they like us.