Day six of not smoking, and I'm rocking it like a champ. I know that… - My secret life of indiscreet discretions


cordelia_sue wrote:

April 12th, 2013 - 12:24 pm

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Day six of not smoking, and I'm rocking it like a champ. I know that the love and support of Tory has a lot to do with that. It's been so easy. Sure, I've cried some, and I've been a little off here and there, but goddamn, our love is so strong, even tobacco withdrawal barely takes away from how overwhelmingly good I feel all the time.

I've had some real strong connections with people over the years. Sometimes the connection peaks in this moment of clarity, transparency, reciprocity, and it is gorgeous and intimate and so, so bonding. That is what he and I are like ALL THE TIME. My only concern is that it will be exhausting, except that it is also so rejuvenating and healing, I think we will find a balance.

He finished mixing the song he wrote about us on Wednesday night, called The Salish Sea. It is so sweet. You can listen to it here. I just read the comments, and I'm blushing and grinning like mad.

After he played the song for me, we fooled around, and let's just say he got to experience some delights that have not been often offered in his life. I am sooooo good to him, and he is soooooooooo good to me. Ha.

Yesterday morning, we woke at the same time, and instantly started laughing with joy. Seriously, that is how good it is to wake up next to each other. We spent a gorgeous day together, going back to the nude beach to take a dip in the Salish Sea, which was particularly freezing that day. It still felt amazing, but damn, even I couldn't stay in for long. We had also taken a small but effective dose of mushrooms, which added to the beauty of the day, though also made some things much more intense in challenging ways. Good things, but damn, even good things can be challenging.

We laid at the beach for a while, enjoying just being there, and I also read to him some more from Cat's Cradle. After a while, we continued our journey back to our nettle harvesting spot, and made a great haul of particularly beautiful nettles. The harvesting was extra magical with the little bit of mushrooms in our system, and the trail led through some really special places. I loved being there with him so much. I can't wait to go to other magical places with him.

We got back home, processed our nettles, then cooked some of them off to go with our dinner, which was quesadillas with smoked goat cheese, nettles, spinach, and black olives. They were so good. Tory would love me undyingly with or without my cooking, but damn if he isn't overjoyed that I cook the way I do, and as often as I do. I love doing it, especially for/with him.

So. I made him dinner, then took him to bed, where he got to experience all of the delights I have to offer (which were extensive and delicious), and THEN I took him out to play skee ball, which is his favorite, but he didn't even know we had a game here in town. I was pretty much the best girlfriend ever last night, yep.

He loves where he is living right now, but recently found out that their lease isn't going to be renewed, so he's going to have to find a new place sometime around August. We are already basically living together, and are so, so committed to this, we're going to work it out to where we can live together. I wasn't sure when that could happen, since I am not going to start working outside the house a whole lot until after the kids go back to school in the Fall, but I was just talking to him and it seems we might have some options for picking up some extra cash through an artisan endeavor he used to do, and made good money at. He got burned out on doing it, but could do it just a little bit and probably be okay, plus I could help, which would feel real good to me. So who knows, we might be able to get set up together sooner than I was expecting.

Normally, I would be more cautious about something like this, but I feel absolutely no need for caution. What would I even have to gain from caution? It would be like a game that I were playing with myself, following rules because they should be followed, not because it's the right thing to do. This is so right. I have no doubts whatsoever. I never thought I would say that, but that's how it is. It's wonderful.

I was talking to Ron about things last night, and he expressed some concern for me, which is totally understandable. I would be concerned too! He mentioned that when something seems too good to be true, it often is. I told him that this did seem so good, but not too good to be true, it's just true. Yep, that's how it is.

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Date:2013-04-13 12:02 am (UTC)
If you move in together and it doesn't work out, you move back out again. It's not the end of the world.

I moved in with Kingsley within a month of us getting together. Seven years later, we've been married for three. There you go.
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Date:2013-04-13 01:43 am (UTC)
Ah love!
I am so happy you are in it!
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